“On Earth, as it is in Heaven?” is part of the
series on BDSM and religion
Introduction
The question mark in the title is already
indicating that expectations may not be as easy to be fulfilled as we perhaps
hope for. BDSM fantasy requires work and the right perspective.
In this blog we look into the reality and
imperfection of BDSM. It is perhaps not what some of us expect BDSM to be, but
as any human activity it is only as good as those who participate in the game.
The right mindset is the first step on the path to bliss.
(Note: This blog entry will be a tad demanding, not
only regarding my use of ‘sacred texts’, but also intellectually.[i]
It is never a shame not to know or understand something. And this blog is for
you to learn, but it is not a test. Take from it what you need.)
Heaven on earth?
The ‘Kingdom of the Lord’ is to come. That is
what we learn in Sunday school; that is what the western Judeo-Christian religious
traditions tell us and that is what many of us believe: our reward lies in the
future.[ii]
But is this indubitably true? Can’t we have a tidy bit of ‘heaven’ before we
die? And - as we are in a kinky blog here - is it also true for us? Can we – ‘perverts’
– ever experience the bliss we hope for? Can’t we already just be in heaven for
a little while and forget the troubles that drag us down to earth?[iii]
It depends;
the key will be the perspective that you use. If we take the ‘Kingdom to come’ literal; the greek verb
for ‘come’ can be translated as ‘let-her-be-coming’.[iv]
This is not the place for an exegetical digression, so it suffices to say that
there is a notion of expectation and becoming to it. Ultimately it is made
clear elsewhere in the gospel, that the Kingdom
of Heaven is a virtual one, as where the rules are abided the spirit of the
Kingdom is present. This was meant and understood as here and now, not only
later …
For those
who are familiar with my ideas about the Dominion
of Lord Cameron, this idea will be known. For our current case, we can
pursue in this line and by allegory – an ancient way of interpreting religious
texts - accommodate it to our praxis: it will be a virtual, evolving, kingdom,
characterized by both inner commitment and outer behaviour, but the inner
attitude is most important, as it is a Kingdom of the Heart.
In this
sense, the well known phrase from the Lord’s Prayer - ‘your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven’ - for sure has its
appeal to every Master. And even when this verse only appears in Matthew and
not in Luke’s gospel[v],
it is nevertheless clear, that as Masters, Tops or Dominants, we demand
attitudes and actions from our slaves, bottoms and subs that we easily recognize
as religious in nature; obedience, worship and awe. Which represent the clay with
which we build our kingdom, our little mirror.
And because
we realize the deeper meaning, we fancy that we are really strict Lords,
benevolent Masters, obedient servants and revering slaves. And as such, we
naturally deserve the best Lords and the most devout subs. So we go out and
seek to find them.
Giving is better as taking – but why does it
have to be so hard?
Unlike the
most gifted pick-up artists the average kinky gospel is not an easy ‘seek and ye shall find’ but rather turns
out to be a series of trial and error. At the end you might have given much and
received little, perhaps not even enough to make it worth while. As discouraging
as this may sound, it is nevertheless true in many cases; you invest, give and
hope; in return you have some nice scenes, hot sex perhaps, but not even close
to what you have been looking for. What now?
Yet, as we
are all very different beings, all with different urges, sexual orientations,
different genders, strangely diverged sexual roadmaps, it will be hard to find
a key that will fit on all locks. But we will try, nevertheless. To this I have
three points:
First, most
of us are still learning about themselves; we are ‘under construction’ and so
are your partners. To know what you really want and seek is your real
challenge, as often we are fooled by our own dreams too. Eventually, the proof
of the pudding is in the eating and don’t forget that while you develop, your own
taste may change too.
Second, the
‘seek and ye shall find’ is not the
whole story. In fact the whole phrase is a bit larger: “Ask, and it shall be given to you. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock, and
it shall be opened to you” (Matt. 7:7).
So we find
that we should first ask in order to be given. Not only ask the Devine or
yourself for permission, but most prominently, ask your partner(s). Simply
asking for what you can mean for them, might be the first step. When you then
seek together, you will find. If and for how long that what you find is the
real thing, is up to you and your partner(s) to decide. But if you persistently
try, ask, seek, your determination will become like knocking on the door and
eventually it will open up to you.
Thirdly, BDSM
fantasy requires work and the right perspective. Above we have seen bit about
the part on working on yourself; your ideas, your ideals, your idols, as well
as the work involved in order to get a partner and then keep hir[vi]
with you. I am sure many of you have been cruising the web or the local clubs
and bars to find someone to whom you would be attracted to and that wanted to
experience physical pleasure with you, so it would bring your energy level up a
higher scale, feeling good, desired and attractive.
But what about that perspective you ask?
Good one!
Yet, as you have been reading, we have seen quite a few perspectives; your
imagination, your real needs, your partner(s) wishes and your mutual efforts,
the motivations why you dream, fantasize, act and justify. Particularly this
last one is not to be underestimated, as justifications for what we do – either
good or bad things – is a powerful concept that is towering over us, like a
safeguard or watchman.
As we are
in a continuous process to develop ourselves - by learning, doing, thinking,
seeing and sharing - we follow goals and ideas regarding the direction our
maturation takes. And then predominantly the idea that we might grow in the
wrong way or by the wrong means is scary. Particularly with non-kinky people,
you often are confronted with the idea that BDSM is limitless, uncontrollable
aggression, addictive in nature and will end up bad for all those involved.
Well, this
is certainly not a perspective that is very helpful, as it is based on a fear
of an uncontrollable mixture of sex and violence, like the idea of the victims
of vampires that get enslaved to the love bite, because it gives them
devastating orgasms.[vii]
Admittedly
there is this side to BDSM, but as an umbrella term BDSM is very wide, and only
a small part of it has to do with violence or pain. All of it however, has to
do with fun. But when it would be about fun only, does it not render us a bunch
of hedonists?[viii]
Perhaps,
but for most kinky persons, BDSM or leather is much more as just fun; it is a
part of our sexual roadmap, a way of dealing with ourselves and others, a way
of self-exploration and perhaps even a spiritual goal in itself. And for those
who had not expected this, I will argue in the next paragraph what it means to
be in heaven.
Between Saturn and Neptune lies … heaven
Beside
being called after Roman Gods - Saturn for Agriculture, Neptune for the Sea –
both planets are in the sky, or heaven. The planet between them is Uranus, the
only planet called after the Greek God of the Sky, Ouranos, which is also the
word (ouranois) that the New Testament uses for ‘heaven’.
The idea
behind this connection between planets and religion is to be found in the
belief that the heavenly bodies and the stars have some form of significance
for our life. In a figurative sense humanity throughout history has turned its
eyes towards the heavens and expected blessings, aid and forgiveness from
‘above’.
I take it
that this was not understood in a literal sense, but that the heavens
symbolically stood for our expectations, our hopes, our beliefs. To be in
heaven in this sense would not mean to be in a particular place, like a planet,
but rather applied to our attitude, a mind set or an experience. Shortly said,
heaven is a mental condition.
At the
beginning of the blog we have seen that the Kingdom of Heaven
This is the
perspective I favour for BDSM; as acts and actions that are aimed at enjoying
our blessings in a way that both find ritually adequate and rewarding. It is a
perspective of enfolding our sexuality, which was reduced to mere ‘physical’,
towards the full plane of human experience, from procreation to imaginative
construction.
Love is
often seen as the highest moral virtue, and it perhaps is, but also other
virtues contribute to our heavenly state; trust[ix],
beauty, acceptance, respect, power, communion, technique, sensitivity,
self-realisation and energy exchange.
Conclusions
Concluding
we can say that this was a different blog; an attempt to lift BDSM out of the
mundane, sick and secret sphere, to the place where it rightly belongs; its
rituals are profound, rewarding and effective in bestowing us with the sense of
feeling whole and guarded.
For all of
you I wish that you will consider this perspective, even when it is a tough job
and a narrow path. Believe it, go for it, take it and rejoice in the gift of
life.
Sincere greetings
from the Chapel of the Dominion
Court
Sir Cameron
Endnotes
[i] As any text, a ‘sacred text’ is also a historical one, written by
persons in their words and in the context of the time they lived in. We can,
may - and perhaps should - ponder on such texts. By using a text that is
considered ‘sacred’ or ‘inspired’ I wish to acknowledge the text as relevant
for our culture. We may not agree on what the texts mean – whether it is to be
seen as a narrative, a revelation or simply as biased opinion - but we agree
that it is – to a certain extend – relevant.
[ii] For this
reason some say that Christianity produces masochists: we accept suffering, our
inferiority and guilt, in exchange for being forgiven and the promise that in
the after life we will be rewarded. However, this view may be insulting for
Christianity, as not all of Christianity is bad or fundamentalist in their
dogmas. Nor are masochists – our masochists – suffering against their will or
because of their inequities, nor are our masochists inferior or guilty. Our
masochists are the brave, courageous heroes, that we respect, admire and love,
just as they respect, admire and love their masters. Amen.
[iii] Yes, we
can. Sexuality, romance, love; it is part of us and meant to enjoy, embrace and
practise in good spirit, seeking each other and with respect to it’s natural limits.
Heaven is of course used in a figurative sense. So seen the above is only a
part of the heavenly goods: present for our pleasure, but no goal in itself.
[iv] For the
kinky theologians amongst us: ‘elthetoo’
has the imperative mood, second aorist tense, active voice, singular. I
translate the Kingdom with her, as basileia is female.
[v] It are with
certainty not Matthew’s or Luke’s gospels at all, as all four gospels (selected
from amongst 30+ others in a later century) are only attributed to them in a
much later period (likely 100 years after Christ’s crucifixion).
[vii] Are there submissive vampires too? Devout little devils, enchanting
witches?
[viii] Hedonism is a school of thought that argues that pleasure is the
only intrinsic good. In very simple terms, a hedonist strives to maximize net
pleasure (pleasure minus pain). Source: WikiPedia
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