BDSM and Worldview

“BDSM and Worldview” is part of the series on BDSM and philosophy

Introduction

How would it be to be free? When you would be free to be whoever you wish to be, free to love whoever you like, free to have sexual intimacy with the person(s) of your choice, without having to fear any negative consequences, like being scorned, prosecuted or labelled a sinner – or to get a transmittable sexual disease, to name something realistic.

Yet, what you perceive as freedom is necessarily a concept that by its very nature is limited; by time, by laws, by other opinions and by our own convictions about what is ethical behaviour and what is not. In this blog entry on BDSM and worldview, we will look at how our freedoms of choice, speech and expression are influenced by theoretical and actual worldviews which we as kinky folk are confronted with.

What has your worldview to do with BDSM?

While cruising you local leather scene, you will meet difference; all kind of normal and kinky persons; younger and older folks, dominants and submissives and such with varying gender identities. This all comes with the inherent diversity of the BDSM subculture as a whole. But there are other differences too, which are not visible on face value. It concerns the kind of differences that explain how you stand in life and how you see BDSM function in your experience with others. It is about how we view the world and that what we do: how we see and understand ourselves.

During our cultural development from savage society toward the high-culture we now have in some parts of the world, humanity seemed to show the tendency to reflect on ourselves, on who we are and what this all means: the reason behind tragedy, the unjustness of being born like this or that, the curse a sexual diversion can sometimes mean in an intolerant environment.

The most common form of collective reflections we find in religions. And if we take religion as an expression of culturally biased answers, we can and will find reasonably acceptable opinions in it. Perhaps it will not be the most modern views, but there is no reason to belief that only modern beliefs have their merits. After all, humanity is old and tradition is not only about continuation of things that do not work. Yet, once we start to see and interpret religious beliefs as an eternal, universal and binding standard, we create a system that is – to put it mildly – not in favour for BDSM or LGBTQ. And this list could easily be continued with evolutionist scientists, feminists or followers or other (allegedly false) religions.

Religions tend to attribute truth to views that modernity has proven to be wrong, over and over again. But - however tragic on itself - diversity in belief systems that underlie our thinking and acting is simply there, regardless if such belief systems are more or less correct. It is not the truth of worldviews that is the matter here, but rather how this affects our view on and experience of BDSM.

How does worldview work?

As seen above, I understand one’s worldview to be a mixture of religious, philosophical and scientific beliefs. Those beliefs are fundamental for the person having them; one is obligated to those ideas and does not easily come to other convictions unless for good reason. The reason for that is the way in which we connect a worldview with our actions, our devotion to our beliefs and their connections to justify our ethical behavior. It is therefore that in a previous blog, I have been arguing for the rationality of BDSM, both in theory and praxis. To this rationality also belongs, that we – in order to maintain a healthy self-image – eventually integrate that what we do in our worldview.

However, it must be pointed out, that a worldview is not necessarily consistent. We of course strife after a continuity and coherence in what we hold important, but already the mere option of change requires a degree of variability. From this point of view the magic of BDSM that many find in it, it’s lure and apparent attractiveness is not to be understood without grasping it’s relation to our worldview. The tension between what we deep inside wish to do and the awareness of how this wish is dubious when seen from our worldview, is one of the tensions that can really be challenging to those who stand in this conflict.

Nevertheless, BDSM as a reasonable praxis of fun and queer acts between consenting adults needs to be taken on its own merits. And for this is it essential that we at least think about what we wish to do and actually put in effect. Reflecting on our actions lifts BDSM up from mere impulses and whims and sets the bearing of our voyage. This will be essential for a well thought out leather praxis; which ultimately will require a well considered framework to align our actions with our beliefs.

Once you start from a particular belief this inevitably includes the rejection of other beliefs. Take e.g. the belief that there is something wrong with persons who have BDSM urges. The step from something wrong towards sickness or sin is not far. Any conclusions that are based upon beliefs that are merely attributed to BDSM without actually doing justice to its reality will only create neurotic tension. Like with opposition against science or other competing beliefs, most objections against BDSM are not predominantly rooted in evidence, but rather religiously or culturally biased.

As we live in a world and are part of a cultural heritage, we have no other option than to start with what is available, including our own upbringing and traditions. The good thing about worldview however, is that you can adapt it, so your beliefs will feel comfortable again. In how far the prevailing worldview does affect the BDSM component in your life is insomuch personal that generalisation likely will not grasp it. Nevertheless, the interaction between worldview and its continuous process of change can itself be viewed from two distinct positions; the external and the internal. We will start with the former.

How do worldviews affect BDSM from the outside?

A worldview is a set of personal and basic beliefs. It has to do with a mixed set of opinions with regard to who we are, where we come from and where the meaning of this all can be found. As such your worldview contains elements from tradition, religion, science and your own experience. We tend to form sub-cultures with other people that, for the most of it, share similar views and beliefs. With BDSM this is not different. We look for persons that wish to do what we wish to do.

The dominant worldviews in our culture will always be a mixture. Depending on class, education and your own disposition, one or more particular elements will be leading your views, where a rational scientific approached or a religious truth motivated view will be the two most common motivators. And both views can and will be used to either reject or support BDSM tendencies and praxis.

The mainly scientific approach is likely one that regards itself as being through with religion. Human rights and freedom of expression as well as evidence are important notions. BDSM can be either seen as free sexual expression, or as a remnant of dormant primitive ideas, or even both. Currently scientific research into BDSM is still scarcely done, yet as a consensual praxis it is gaining more and more acceptance by psychologists and sexologists. The continuing row of changes of BDSM as mental disorder in the consecutive Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders versions is only an expression of that (positive) development.

The mainly religious approach to your worldview also has two sides. In Dominion metaphysics, Sir Cameron defines religion as the innate impulse of the human selfhood to direct itself towards the true or pretended true origin. This focus on origin answers the question who we are and where we have to look for guidance.

Theists of course differ on many issues in this regard, but generally it is seen that religious traditions have at least an ancient core. Many theists regard one particular tradition as the (absolute) true tradition and the others as missing the ultimate point - despite perhaps containing some ‘moments of truth’. Others regard all religions as narratives that show how in the past creeds and beliefs were expressed, but not as an accurate historical description in itself.

Some theists that follow a modern stance – which may include belief in evolution theory - might perhaps show the usual reluctance towards BDSM, but may not be forced by their doctrine to condemn all sexuality that does not fit into an ancient framework of sex-negativity. Others - like conservatives or fundamentalist theists - will likely regard BDSM as wrong, misguided, perverted or straight out evil.

It needs no further argument, that when you as a kinky person meet someone with a sex-negative or otherwise repressive worldview you can be severely hindered in being as you are. Irrespective of how you choose to life out your urges, hidden or in the open, meeting others and possibly face rejection, disgust or even hostility is never nice. Therefore, the battle for sexual freedom starts with a proper view on reality. In this blog we will continue to shed light on our otherwise secretly dark reality.

How do worldviews affect BDSM from the inside?

Following the just mentioned clash of contrasting worldviews with regard to BDSM, it is by no means so that inside the BDSM subculture the co-existing worldviews are necessarily closer to each other; all is it sensible to expect more overlap amongst them.

An example will make this clear. For a good spanking scene it will apparently make not much difference if the bottom is a rationalist evolutionary biologist or a romantic Anglican Church choir boy. Apparently, as our experience is so very personal sometimes, that we in order to be able to express what it means to us, we need to make certain that we speak the same language.

Of course, this is required for all effective communication, not only with regard to kink. Yet, particularly with such activities that in essence require a (previous) exchange of consent, wished and limits, being understood in the proper sense is paramount.

And than we have our internal convictions about what we do; even when I do not suppose that many of us get involved in BDSM play without actually wishing to do so, it nevertheless is to be expected that we will reflect on our motivations and actions.

We need to find out about our need for BDSM because it is the explanation for our behaviour and because it explains such a huge number of facts; because many things we believe about sexuality is explained by it. Reading a few blogs on the internet is no match for a lifelong of (religious) indoctrination, so the question we face is how we do reconcile the practical truth that BDSM feels so good to us, with the deeply held convictions that bind social and religious communities?

Again, there are several options available. A very practical one is to simply notice that you and your partner(s) like what you do and take this as a sufficient justification. A more complex one is to convert parts of our practise into a ritual context; we play with opposites in ourselves and in our culture; we do the forbidden thing, we drown in the dark corners of our unconscious shadow, we seek ecstasy that moves us away from the mundane and dualist context and lifts us up into that place where we all unite in wholeness and soundness.

Conclusions

The Clothed Lie cannot tell you how you should feel about BDSM or what views best work for you and the situation you are in. It is your privilege and task to find that out for your self. Whether you see yourself as the fifth ape and your actions as genetically programmed, whether you see yourself in the image of a Deity of your choice and your actions as lovely wicked or prefer to see BDSM as spiritual praxis that by means of rites tries to understand and express yourself; all views have their own merits and come with their own set of questions. It is up to you to decide what suits you best.

Obviously, what we belief about our sexual and BDSM praxis is affected by our upbringing, but that does not mean that we cannot or should not change our minds on certain topics. We all earn the respect from others to let us examine alternatives and re-evaluate our beliefs in freedom of choice. There is no reason to be afraid to spell out the delivering truth derived from your own experience.

But be aware that irrationality is woven in the fabric of modern life, attempting to draw us back the petty fog of our superstitious past where we were hiding behind the trees of sex-negative delusion, there seems to be – after all - a tree of knowledge and a tree of life. Consider your choices with rationale and act on them in wisdom.

As always, I wish you good luck on your journeys, in- and outside of the dungeon.

Enjoy – Sir Cameron