All expression is out of the fullness of our psyche and as such out of humanity in which we partake. This also goes for sexual expression, which functions best when embedded in relationships that do justice to our mutual urges, mental desires and spiritual wonder.
Over the past few years, God changed my view on sexuality by leading me out of the fold of fundamentalist Christianity and guiding me into the - for me very painful - process of accepting who I am; a polyamory cis-gender sadist. All that I never aspired to be, but nevertheless had to accommodate to. Accepting my shadow side and my apparent urges, confronted me with a radical change in perspective. Now understanding that the human psyche offers many ways of experiencing sexual bliss, I try to find an ethical way to enjoy my sexuality as a gift and a blessing to me and my partners.
Most of the times, we share during intercourse the same intimacy sacredly of being united just like any other person would feel. In addition we play roles where we - in an almost ritual way - explore those feelings, desires and joys that are less common. The openness and trust that we need in order to feel safe and secure to let this kind of energies flow is a very delicate one. It is the kind of experience you can feel and grasp, but not so easily express in words: it is rather personal, very intimate and in a sense strangely holy. As if ritual atonement, in the plastic garb of flesh and tools, can actually lift us high. Yet it does; in trance, tranquillity and unity. Worlds moving through us, while we rest in peace.
Notwithstanding our inner conviction that consensual mastery and submission is fine, in society it will likely be met with suspicion. While this is understandable, it does not render it true. Resistance against consensual, safe and sound kink is likely connected with how the beholders regards the relationship between God, evil and sin (to use well defined Christian terminology. One could also use words like the Self, Persona and the Shadow, or unity, diversity and imagination.)
The joy of receiving someone or to give yourself over, is a most serious matter. As it is with normal sexuality, so it is with kink. Spirituality can offer guidance in protecting us against harm, deification or addiction. Being rooted in your own sexual identity, being focus upon your lovers and their well-being, being aware how you together in a mysterious way are fitting, complementary and additional, and thus becoming what you are, in essence.
Probably this creativity in ritual role play is karmic work for some of us and not for all. And why should it? We should never project our own sexuality upon others - there is a reason why we are different in some things. Together we all add up to what was in the past and will be in the future; enfolding humanity.
Sir Raphael P. Cameron
P.S. My totem says:
When you look from afar, or far above; all we see is undifferentiated love. Yet, when we zoom into perspective, at the base of the collective, we shall find love in many shades; all reflecting some of the light that fell from the sky. Out of the roots of the earth we drink and nourish and we go like children, hand in hand enjoying the warmth of the sun.
Heaven and earth and we in between, and still we are part of both.